Do you think this works to prevent having an affair?

If you meet each other's spouses, do you think this prevents having an affair with each other? We've suggested me meeting his wife, but everytime it comes up, he flakes. He flirts w/me at work. Will it keep things at a friendship level if he has me meet his wife? Thanks.Do you think this works to prevent having an affair?
Hahaha. No, it won't. As an infidelity couples counselor, I will tell you that numerous affair partners know the other affair partner's spouse. Many are even trusted friends or close family members! You know why? Because if the spouse meets the affair partner, they'll be more trusting of them, and pretty much let them get away with the affair right under their nose! It's like hiding something in plain sight. Meeting his wife will not prevent an affair. Do you know what the only thing that will prevent an affair is? NO CONTACT! If this married man is flirting inappropriately with you at work, then cut off contact with him, contact HR about it, and keep him out of your life. Ruining two marriages isn't worth being with a liar and a cheater (because that's what he would be). That, or both of you getting counseling for the psychological issues that are causing you to have urges to cheat. The best bet? Run far and fast from the guy. Meeting his wife won't change anything. I've had clients who not only met the spouse, were related or friends with the spouse, were involved with the their kids even, and much worse. It doesn't stop people...Do you think this works to prevent having an affair?
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Meeting the wife will not work. If you too become friends it will probably make things worse. Your friendship with her will always live in the shadows of her husband because you have feelings for him.


It seems that a large part of both of you (you and your co-worker) do not want this to happen because of feelings ofguilt. If you and he want this to happen, it will happen--end of story. My suggestion if you really don't want this? You have a husband, and you must have felt this way lustfull connection with him in the past. Try to revive or spice your sex life up with your husband. Belive me, if you feel guilty now about an affair, you will feel worse after you have done the deed. Try to think about how you will feel if your husband found out.
The only thing meeting his wife will do is make you both feel even more guilty if you DO end up having an affair.





I believe you are too attracted to him (otherwise you wouldn't be asking this question), and you are trying to find a way not to do what you already feel is wrong.





I understand that sometimes your marriage can go awry and you don't want to leave your spouse for whatever reason (kids, other family members, finances, etc). There are many reasons why people can't or don't want to get a divorce.





BUT, I can tell you this, having an affair will only complicate your already troubled marriage. Work on strengthing your position to leave your husband or work it out with him. Then you can be free to pursue outside relationships.





AND, if you do get a divorce, don't fall for someone who is married. They should be strong enough and secure enough with themselves to break it off with their spouse.





Building up is far better than tearing down. Unfortunately, somethings can't be saved. You need to concentrate on that and let the flirt in the office find someone else to fool around with.





BOTTOM LINE: You may both loose what's truly important to you in the long run if you are not smart as to what IS IMPORTANT for you in your lives today.
Keep your relationship on a working level only and do not get involved with his personal life. It sounds like he is a married man looking for something on the side and know that you deserve better than this.


A wife is very territorial when it comes to her marriage and she will figure this situation out immediately if she hasn't already?


Meeting his wife will not prevent you from having an affair if you put yourself into temptation enough for it to happen.
Um...you people respecting your marriage vows and keeping your hands to your self will work ';to prevent having an affair';





You acting like it's an accident that's going to happen??





Accept some responsibility for your potential irresponsibility!





You don't just fall into an affair...it's a conscious choice.





If you choose to respect your husband and honor your marriage vows...you don't need to meet your co worker's wife...you just need to act like a responsible adult and keep your damn pants on!





WTF is wrong with people??
You are the only one who knows the answer to that question. It will stay at a friendship level if YOU keep it that way. Even if he decides to be a liar and a cheat, that doesn't mean that you have to allow it to happen to you. You need to have more dignity and self-respect, and set standards for yourself and those around you.
OK, so you are NOT married?? I answered your last question and I suggested you weren't married then. But here you say ';meet each other's spouses';... If you are both married then YES, it would be a very good idea. But if he is going to bring you home to meet his wife so that the two of you can stand in front of his wife and pretend to just be co-workers then all I can say is that you both deserve whatever it is you get...


You, my dear, are playing games with us here on YA... AND you are playing with fire with his marriage..


Lose this guy, or get another job. He has you obsessing over him.
Meeting his wife will play no part with regard to your clothing being removed, that's your job to make it happen or not.


Whatever decision you make, I hope it's the right one.


There are a ;ot of lives involved.


Can't you just tell him to show you his divorce papers before anything happens? OR Does he want you to meet her so he can have both?


Keep away from him.
No. His wife's guard will be up immediately because she will sense it and see it. No offense, but who told you meeting his wife would keep things at a ';friendship level?'; I am guessing someone who doesn't like him! What are you trying to say, that if you have a face to go with ';his wife'; you will go no further with him? Why not bring your new friend home to your husband?
Aren't you married too? Dont you have your own vows to live up to? And also, women need to stick together. Are you really going to be the back stabbing husband stealer- is that who you want to be? DO the right thing, and you know what that is. The guy sounds like a serious jerk anyways. IF you are not in love with your husband, have you ever heard of divorce? Give him the chance to date other people as well if you are going to. It sounds like its already over if you are even considering an affair. Just get the divorce. That's my final answer.
No - best friends will sleep with each others' spouses. You want to break up a marriage? Then stay away from him - he obviously can't keep it in his pants. Besides - you think you are the first and only ';other'; woman';? Get real...
You need to have some decency here and tell him to stop flirting with you!!!!!





Why would you want to meet his wife??? That's just ridiculous.





YOU CAN CONTROL THIS SITUATION BY MAKING YOURSELF CLEAR!!!!!!!





Look for another job.
No, someone who is unfaithful is morally corrupt, they don't care if they know the wife or not.
One has absolutely nothing to do with the other meeting his wife only means you will find fought with her. This sounds like an affair in the making.
It will do your marriage a lot of good if you make friends with his wife and meet/ communicate with her more often
Why would that help? So many 'friends' cheat with friends'' husbands or wives! Just don't do it! You shouldn't need any other reason besides being faithful to your spouse and family!
It takes 2 to tango, there is always a giver and a receiver!
wtf? what if some hooker was hooking up with your husband? Karma is a *****